


Much Ado About Wormholes

by SpawnofAnarion



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:24:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3842158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpawnofAnarion/pseuds/SpawnofAnarion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beatrice and Benadick are on a lovely 1 year anniversary picnic when, of course, everything goes awry. In this case, however, it's not an argument, scandal, or otherwise mundane disturbance of their peaceful lives, but an unfortunately placed portal in space and time. Though lost and separated, the two meet some of their favorite fictional characters, and with their help the pair quests to re-unite, find a way home, and maybe save the universe in the process.<br/>My first AO3 fic, and a birthday gift to my sister. Hope you like it!<br/>Features numerous crossovers, unlisted to maintain element of surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Much Ado About Wormholes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ravenclawesome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenclawesome/gifts).



It had been a lovely day for a picnic. The sun was shining, the wind blew coolly(but not too coolly) through the grass, and the sky had just the right amount of clouds. It was perfect. So, of course, Beatrice and Benadick had had to go outside and take in the nature. Well, also there was some sort of surprise party being planned for their dating-anniversary which they probably weren't supposed to know about.  
But, that aside, it really was a nice day for a picnic. Which, of course, meant it had to go horribly wrong.   
One moment, Beatrice and Benadick had been discussing the virtues of superheroes and the fact that with all his gadgets, Iron Man could probably take down about anything in the Marvel movies, and was kind of Marvel's Batman, when something strange began to happen.

"I mean, it's not that I don't like Captain America, it's just that he really only has super strength, but Iron Man-" Beatrice paused. "Um, Ben."

"What?" Benadick followed her gaze, glancing behind him. 

It was blue. That was the first thing they really noticed. It was a round, blue circle, five feet wide, floating stiffly in the air. Except, it wasn't quite a circle. The center seemed to recede, making it look almost like a tunnel.

"I wonder..." Benadick reached out to it.

"Ben-no!" Beatrice exclaimed, just as Ben's fingers brushed the surface. There was a bright flash, and her boyfriend was gone. Before she could even stop and think, Beatrice was on her feet, hand reaching right towards where-

 

Flash.

 

'Oww...' Beatrice blinked her eyes open, then immediately closed them at the intense light that   
attacked her eyeballs. 'My head... feels like it was trampled by a herd of duck horses.' There was a strange hum in the metal beneath her, as if she was on the deck of a ship. "Benadick?" She groaned.

"What?" A voice said from above.

"Ben? Is that you?" But it wasn't him. The voice was all wrong.

"What? But, you can't-there's no way-"

"Oh, help the poor girl up, will you? She's obviously in pain." Arms reached around her waist, helping Beatrice stumble to her feet as her eyes adjusted to the light.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just need to find Ben-" Her vision focused, and Beatrice was finally able to see the two who had been talking. Beatrice felt her mouth fall open, but she didn't notice.

"David Tennant? Catherine Tate?"

The two looked at each other. "Umm... no, 'fraid not." The man who was not David Tennant replied with a confused grin. "I'm the Doctor, and this is-" 

"Donna, Donna Noble." The woman who was not Catherine Tate interrupted, raising her eyebrow at the man claiming to be the Doctor. "Who can introduce herself, mind you."

"Er, sorry..." Replied the man, scratching his head.

"B-but you can't be. This doesn't make any sense." Beatrice said, taking in her surroundings. It looked exactly like the TARDIS was supposed to look, sounded like it was supposed to sound. But it couldn't be the TARDIS, because that wasn't possible.

But, then again, random portals appearing in the air and stealing your boyfriend weren't exactly a logical occurrence either.

"So, if, you don't mind my asking, where exactly did you come from?" The Doctor asked, a curious glint in his eye.

"Uh, well, I..." Beatrice looked around for a moment, but there was no sign of the portal that had brought her to... well, wherever this was. Maybe she was having a dream, or a nightmare. That would make the most sense. "There was a, um, portal thing I touched. It took my boyfriend." This had to be a dream. That sentence sounded too ridiculous to exist in anything else. Any moment she was going to wake up on the couch and find a cup of hot British tea steaming next to her, and Benadick re-watching their favorite episodes of a Doctor Who. 

"Hmm..." The Doctor rushed off into the TARDIS, searching for something if the clattering of discarded objects was anything to go by. Donna stood, smiling at her consolingly. 

"Don't worry, love, we'll get you back to where you're supposed to be. What's your name?"

"Beatrice." She responded, worry beginning to trickle back in. "Beatrice Duke."

 

Meanwhile...

 

Owwww...

Benadick lifted his face off of the ground, spitting out grass and dirt. His head ached like it had been beaten by a thousand mangoes. With another groan, he pushed himself up to his knees and blinked to clear his eyes.

Well. That was weird. He distinctly remembered being on a hilltop before...

Oh bloody hell.

Benadick frantically glanced around for the weird space portal he'd fallen through, but all he could see was a forest. 

"Okay, all right, calm down Ben." He murmured to himself. "It's perfectly normal to fall through weird portal-y things. Happens all the time. I've just got to find it and jump back throu-"

Creeeeeeak.

The forest did not look as friendly as it had before. Had that shadow been there a moment ago? Hadn't that tree branch looked different? He could've sworn it had.

"No need to panic, just the trees, er, shifting in the wind..."

Something grabbed his leg.

 

"So, what you're saying is, you fell through a portal chasing after your boyfriend and ended up on the TARDIS. Right?"

"Yes, but he's not here." 

The Doctor's sonic screwdriver hummed in Beatrice's ear as the Doctor... scanned her? Probably? That was what he usually did, when something like this happened on the show.

"Hmm..." The Doctor brought the screwdriver up to his eyes, examining it for a moment. "Well. I see. That's... strange."

Donna frowned at him. "Strange? What do you mean strange? It's never just 'strange'."

"I mean it's strange. Unusual. Odd, if you prefer." The Doctor said, moving over to the TARDIS controls. 

Beatrice knew that look. "Wait!"

"Hmm?" The Doctor looked up from the lever he was about to pull.

"Where are you taking us?" She asked.

"A, well, it's a little hard to describe." The Time Lord replied, screwing up his face.

Donna crossed her arms. "Where, Doctor."

"Well, it's a bit of a spacey, vortex-y, probably-not-entirely-safe-or-stable wormhole-y... Thing."

"And why, exactly, are we going there, instead of taking this girl home?" Donna asked.

"She may... That is, she happens to be from another universe." The Doctor said, throwing an apologetic look towards Beatrice.

"What?" Beatrice said.

 

What?

 

"What the HELL?" Ben shouted, grasping desperately at the grass as he was lifted bodily off of the ground. 

Crapcrapcrapcrap what the fuu-Ben glanced down, or up as it were, and saw what was lifting him. It was, in a word, a tree.

It took Ben a second to process that. He was being hoisted up by a giant, weirdly evil looking tree.

A tree with a giant face. A face with a large, dark, sappy hole where the mouth was. A hole that was getting closer and closer.

"HEEEEEELP!" Ben yelled, tearing uselessly at the vine that encircled his leg. He was-

 

"-trapped, in the red nebula of Carfanikolos'nva VII. I found it awhile back, when I was looking for..." The Doctor paused. "Well, I found it. I don't know how, exactly, it made it through the time lock intact, but it's still there." The Doctor said, adjusting another crank in preparation for takeoff.

"So this... what did you call it, exactly?" Beatrice asked.

"The Sky-Gate."

"This... Sky-Gate, is going to get me back? But this isn't in any of the... none of this makes any sense." Beatrice sat down on the disturbingly solid metal stairs of what she still knew could not be the TARDIS. It felt so real, though. Her eyes wandered, and she found herself staring at the wondrous interior of the ship. They never really did show the ceiling of the craft, and she found herself staring into the distant blinking lights, like stars in the TARDIS' roof. Being here felt... Warm, somehow, like there was a comforting presence wrapping itself around her mind.

"It'll be okay, Beatrice. We'll get you back." Donna said, patting her on the arm. "Well, what're you waiting for, then?" She asked the Doctor, who had paused with his hand over the main TARDIS lever.  
"Hmm... There's something..." The Doctor said, puzzled. Then, he shrugged. The Time Lord pressed his hand down on the lever, and the craft began to move.

Immediately, Beatrice knew two things. The first, upon hearing the sound of the TARDIS, she knew with shocking certainty that all of this was real. The second was that something was about to happen. She let out a shout, leaping up towards the console, but the craft was already being consumed by blue light, and a blinding flash...

 

Ben had been fighting with the tree for several minutes(though it felt like hours), desperately pushing against the mouth of the monstrous tree, when someone finally arrived.

"Hello?" Ben called, not daring to look away from the tree for fear that he'd slip. "Help!"

It was strange. He'd heard singing before. It had seemed somehow familiar. "Hey dong, derry-long, fing fong o fillow! Who have you been catching here, old man Willow? Drop him now, let him go, get him on his way, unless you want to be afacin me again today!" A voice said, bouncing from behind him.

What? Ben was so distracted, he didn't notice the tree releasing its hold on him until he'd fallen on his face. Spitting out dirt for the second time that day, he looked up to see who had saved him. ...what?

"Hey long, merry gong, sing song a sillow! Bet you're glad he came along, old Tom Bombadillo!" A large man, clad in blue with red pants and a yellow straw hat, exclaimed, cheery grin on his face.

Benadick's jaw fell open. "What?" 

 

"What just... Doctor, where are we?" Donna asked.

They had all been thrown to the ground by the sudden lurch that had followed the flash, and now began to pick themselves up. "I'm, ugh, not sure." The Doctor said as he levered himself to his feet, using the TARDIS console as a handhold. "Not where we used to be."

Obviously. Beatrice might've said in any other situation. Had she not been universally displaced and thrown to the floor by a blast of light.

The Doctor staggered over to the doors as Donna helped Beatrice to her feet. With a flourish he them open, and then all of them stared in surprise at the scene before them. 

The TARDIS had crashed into a large skyscraper, slightly above a high level patio. It wasn't until Beatrice saw the 'A', though, that she recognized it for what it was.

"Oh my God." Beatrice muttered. "This is New York. Avengers New York." 

As if to punctuate her statement, the doors to the patio opened, and a rather angry looking suit of red armor flew out. A suit Beatrice recognized instantly.

"Someone care to tell me who decided to gave a party on my patio," Asked Tony Stark, the angry looking Iron Man, "and why I wasn't invited?"


End file.
